yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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