Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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