I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize