you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
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btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
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I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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