I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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