The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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