True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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