Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize