I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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