Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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