Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize