it was like his penis was on wheels.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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