Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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