YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am midnight drunk by noon
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize