I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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