I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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