road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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