she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize