i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize