I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize