11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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