Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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