In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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