The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize