Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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