I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
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Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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