my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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