Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize