Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize