I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize