I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
