there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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