I think im going to throw up on grandma
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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