I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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