Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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