Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Pooping to opera.
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