Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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