Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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