There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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