honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize