that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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