seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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