I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize