SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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