We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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