Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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