So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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