What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize