i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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