She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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