I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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