when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize