There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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